Zackary Binx (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} hanoverelf) wrote in lydia_jennings, |
I really like how you threw in random memories (like "He once told me I could sing well") because it really gives the idea that it's all train of thought.
My only complaint is right before you talk about existentialism you should say that it was planned for you to write it (or whatever it was). I was kind of confused there. Same with how there was food and you knew where the gravestone was...you don't want confusion in a story like this, so you should try to make those more clear.
Believe it or not, I liked the part with Mike in it.
My only complaint is right before you talk about existentialism you should say that it was planned for you to write it (or whatever it was). I was kind of confused there. Same with how there was food and you knew where the gravestone was...you don't want confusion in a story like this, so you should try to make those more clear.
Believe it or not, I liked the part with Mike in it.
